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Last Updated on 06-Jan-2016
Category: Employment

Topic: Meetings

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    1. If procrastinators had a club would they ever have a meeting? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Why do people after giving a presentation ask if there are any questions? They must have missed this web site. (Contributed by Don F.)
    3. Why do they call them briefings when they take so long? (Contributed by Don F.)
    4. Why is it that the speaker with the most monotonous voice speaks after the big meal? (Contributed by Don F.)
    5. Why is it that at a meeting minutes are kept but the hours are lost? (Contributed by Ken Booth)
    6. Why is it that those who have the shortest distance to travel invariably arrive latest? (Contributed by Don Woods)
    7. Is it true that a camel is only a horse that has been put together by a committee? (Contributed by Neil Enns)
    8. Is the world run by the people that show up? (Contributed by C.O. Jones)
    9. If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program should you wake him up? (Contributed by Keith Sullivan)
    10. Is the problem with being punctual the fact that people will think you have nothing more important to do? (Contributed by Jason Q)
    11. What good is being punctual if nobody's there to appreciate it? (Contributed by Franklin Jones)
    12. If it takes hours to prepare and distribute meeting minutes then shouldn't they be called 'hours' instead of minutes? (Contributed by Don F.)
    13. Is the reason that business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without? (Contributed by Anon)
    14. Why do they call them Standing Committees when they always seem to be sitting down? (Contributed by Rowland Croucher)
    15. If you had to identify in one word the reason the human race has not achieved and never will its full potential would that word by 'Meetings'? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    16. How come when you're tied up in a meeting and you need to answer the call of nature tapping your foot seems to always tide you over? (Contributed by Ryoga)
    17. Isn't the best way to make certain that an issue is addressed but never accomplished be to give it to a task force or committee? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    18. Why are they called meetings, when everybody that takes part in them has already met each other? (Contributed by Nikos Zachariadis)
    19. Why do they call them 'staff meetings' if the staff can't go to them? (Contributed by John Foster)
    20. Has anybody noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? (Contributed by Susan Birkenseer)
    21. Why do Workaholics Anonymous have meetings? Isn't one more meeting just the opposite of what a workaholic needs? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    22. Isn't a committee just a group with an answer that is looking for a problem? (Contributed by Judy Stockrahm)
    23. Isn't a sub-committee just a group delegated to do the work so that the committee can take credit? (Contributed by Judy Stockrahm)
    24. When you are on time for a function, does that mean you should be there at exactly the time it is supposed to start or a few minutes before? (Contributed by Janis G.)
    25. So if you’re in a meeting and can’t talk, why did you answer your dang cell phone? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    26. Aren't the two biggest problems in the world today, making ends meet and making meetings end? (Contributed by Robert Orben)
    27. If we had a Time Machine and sent members of the Procrastinators Club back in time would they be current on their yearly membership dues? (Contributed by Doel N.)
    28. Why do companies have weekly meetings? How long does it take for people to know each other? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    29. How long does a life membership last? (Contributed by I.W.)
    30. How come the person with the least experience always has the most opinions? (Contributed by Raphie)
    31. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, some people get so incredibly nervous? They know their name, they know where they’re from, this shouldn’t be a problem, should it? (Contributed by Michael)
    32. Why should we take notes in a meeting? If it's important, we’ll remember it, right? (Contributed by Don F.)
    33. If your presence doesn't make an impact, your absence won't make a difference, will it? (Contributed by Don F.)
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Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada
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