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Last Updated on 06-Jan-2016
Category: Electronics

Topic: Telephones

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    1. Why do we ask someone to "catch the phone" for us? Do we really intend to throw it at them? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Why is it when you dial a wrong number there is always someone there to tell you that you dialed the wrong number? (Contributed by Don F.)
    3. Why is it when you want to use a public telephone the page in the phone book you need is always torn out? (Contributed by Don F.)
    4. Why in a country of free speech are there phone bills? (Contributed by Don F.)
    5. Why do we still dial a number on a touch-tone phone? (Contributed by Don F.)
    6. Why do we sometimes get the message "We are sorry the number you have reached is not in service" on the phone? The fact that you get the message means that it is in service doesn't it?. (Contributed by Don F.)
    7. How come wrong numbers are never busy? (Contributed by Don F.)
    8. Why is there no letter "Q" on the touchtone phone keypad? (Contributed by Don F.)
    9. Why are there more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year? (Contributed by Alice Yucht)
    10. If Alexander Graham Bell had had a daughter would he have invented the telephone? (Contributed by Nancy Carson)
    11. Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers? (Contributed by James Terris)
    12. Why does a friend in need always find your new phone number? (Contributed by Neil Enns)
    13. What is it about these long-distance carriers that just won't take NO for an answer? Too bad they're not as persistent when you are experiencing telephone PROBLEMS!! (Contributed by Jill)
    14. Why do they call it a busy signal? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    15. If two people who have call waiting on their phones both called each other at the same time what would happen? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    16. Why is it that when you want to use the phone another family member is usually using it? Any why do they say they'll be off the phone in a minute when they really mean 'Give me three more hours'? (Contributed by ShadowStalker)
    17. Why is the keypad on a telephone opposite of the keypad on a calculator? (Contributed by James Bates)
    18. Why do companies send an invoice when there is no voice in it? Shouldn't they call you on the phone and in voice tell you what you owe? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    19. Why is it that whenever I try to get in touch with myself I always get the answering machine? (Contributed by Heather Coon)
    20. Just what is it about going to the bathroom that makes your telephone ring? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    21. Do those companies that call you up and have a computer ask you to hold the line really think you are going to do it? (Contributed by Bill Edwards)
    22. Who can live WITH call-waiting? Why would you want to pay for a service that interupts you all of the time? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    23. Why do phone companies give you numbers to call if your phone doesn't work? (Contributed by MBW Family)
    24. Why do people talk faster when leaving their phone numbers on answering devices? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    25. Why do we use answering machines to screen our calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone who we didn't want to talk to in the first place? (Contributed by Maurizio Mariotti)
    26. How is it possible to trip over a cordless phone? (Contributed by Guy Paul)
    27. Is the reason there are so many Smiths in the phone book because they all have phones? (Contributed by Rowland Croucher)
    28. When E.T. phoned home who paid for the call? (Contributed by mmcguckin)
    29. Why isn't a telephone conversation backward for one of the callers? (Contributed by Gail Goodson)
    30. Why is it that over the last 200 years, over 100 billion pencils have been manufactured, yet we still can't keep one by the phone? (Contributed by Rev. Dale Turner, Seattle Times)
    31. Do you think that all those 'telephone poles' are actually trees that grow wild along the roadside? And is it possible that all those people in the cherry pickers who say they're doing repairs on the lines are actually picking the wild telephones growing from them? Makes you wonder if there are orchards of these poles out there somewhere, doesn't it? (Contributed by Ossie Michelin)
    32. Why do people bother taking the time to leave a phone number on your voice mail and then rattle it off so fast that you can't decipher it? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    33. Have you ever wondered if that voice on the telephone that says 'Please hangup and try again' is a real person who takes all the insults you give her? (Contributed by B.R.)
    34. How come auto manufacturers still refer to it as a cigarette lighter? Don't most people these days use it as a cell phone recharger? (Contributed by Don F.)
    35. If the people on the other end of the line know that we dialed the wrong number, then why did they answer the phone? (Contributed by James Thurber)
    36. If you tried to phone the King of the Jungle, would the lion be busy? (Contributed by Chaps)
    37. When our phone rings and we pick it up, how come we sometimes ask 'Who is speaking please?'? Shouldn't whoever is on the other end tell us that we are? (Contributed by Tommy Cooper)
    38. Isn't it ironic that the hardest bill to pay by phone is the phone bill? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    39. Who do 911 operators call when there's a fire? (Contributed by The Duke of Endor)
    40. When you get a prank call, why do we figure if we change our tone of 'hello', the person will answer? (Contributed by Krayzie)
    41. If you use a Bluetooth GSM phone and a Bluetooth PDA, does it make you a BlueTEETH owner? (Contributed by dMON)
    42. Just what is it that the Operators are standing by? Could it be the water cooler? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    43. Why do help desks pride themselves on customer service when they put their customers through 20 minutes of aggravating, automated phone jargon, when they try to contact the help desk on the phone? (Contributed by Judy Stockrahm)
    44. What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect? (Contributed by The Duke of Endor)
    45. How come Batman has a car worth a half million, a bat cave, plane, boat, and helicopter, all worth millions but he doesn't own a cell phone? (Contributed by Crazy Frosty)
    46. Why is it that when you get one of those annoying recordings telling you the number you've dialed is incorrect, you get three loud beeps beforehand? Isn't it bad enough that you have to hear that you dialed the wrong number in the first place without the three beeps making you go deaf? (Contributed by Jennifer)
    47. Why is the '0' on a phone, after '1' and not before '1'? (Contributed by C.T.)
    48. On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1? (Contributed by C.T.)
    49. Back when everyone used pay phones, didn't we use to stand in the corner and talk real low so no one would hear us? Now, with cell phones, we talk louder than normal. Why is that? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    50. Do telemarketers call other telemarketers? (Contributed by Steve)
    51. Does anybody actually enjoy the music they hear when they're on hold? (Contributed by Kevin Wanzer)
    52. Why is it that when you dial a wrong number, the other person is sorry? (Contributed by Randy)
    53. Why do they ask ‘May I place you on hold while I transfer you to the concerned department?’, when you don’t have a choice? (Contributed by Cheslyn)
    54. Why is it that whenever someone says call me, they end up calling you? (Contributed by Non)
    55. Why do we pause after the 3rd digit when reciting a phone number? And why do we still put a ‘-‘ after the first 3 digits when writing a phone number? (Contributed by Darin P.)
    56. Do area codes still need brackets around them? (Contributed by Darin P.)
    57. If people just wanted peace and quiet, shouldn’t they buy a phone-less cord instead? (Contributed by W.J.)
    58. When you get disconnected on the phone, who is responsible to redial? The caller or the callee? (Contributed by Jason)
    59. How many hours a year do we lose trying to get to an actual live human being on the phone when we have a problem the computer or answering machine can’t solve? (Contributed by Tom)
    60. Do phones still "ring off the hook" now that they are cordless? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    61. What happens when you call 1-800-COLLECT on one of those 1-900 numbers? (Contributed by Samuel V.)
    62. If you have a rotary phone, do you still have to press 1 for English? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    63. If "Operators are standing by", shouldn't they get a different job where the company has chairs? (Contributed by Vaiden)
    64. Why do people make hand gestures over the phone? Or worse, why do they nod their head over the phone? (Contributed by Ora)
    65. How come when you just miss a call by the last ring and then immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail? What did the caller do after you didn’t answer? Did they drop the phone and run away? (Contributed by Michael)
    66. If there’s a microphone and a mega phone what ever happened to the average phone? (Contributed by Anon)
    67. If you put your grandma on speed dial, would that be an Instagram? (Contributed by Judy N.)
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Send to Don Fowler
dcfowler@interbaun.com

Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada
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